podloonaroon exodus

the pond is deep deep clear water i am quiet and still the rocks below are far they seem so close it is so clear now i am empty and sinking i finger the golden stones and turn them over but i am not strong the stones i want are big i am lying on the bottom when a precious jewel is sucked into my mouth as i breathe in deep the deep deep water the ruby causes my eyes to see beyond the emerald hearing ears hear hitherto inaudible whisperings from the formless above i remember now where i came from now i can wear my life as a jewel collecting animal i am an animal harvesting pearls tasting ambrosia and nectar

as much as i hate to complain... just a few words, for the record. they are moving me again without a choice. "they", in my vocabulary, are anyone who is not me. anyway, once again, even in less than a years time.... the powers that be have seen fit to put in the owner's head the jolly idea of completely rearranging the buildings on his property. so i have to find a new place again.

never a dull moment... i was just getting comfortable and painting again when suddenly out of the blue the manager of the sober living i was in in sylmar decides to throw me out because i parked someone's car in my space as a favor. so now i have 20 days to find a new abode. i am back showing my paintings on the venice boardwalk. for more details see http://www.my.opera.com/I_ArtMan/journal if this doesn't work it's called "food for thought"

ransom demand as soon as i turned the corner, his lights went on and that ill-omened wail of the siren killed me. i didn't like the way the patrol car was trailing me... in another lane, but following. i tried my cloak of invisibility but it wasn't working and i didn't really think it was necessary to use 'the force'. i wish i had. it all started eight years ago at kennedy airport when my wife, jean, with tears in her eyes, set me free. i was on my way to washington state to take care of my father who, they said had six months to live. bob was over six feet tall and weighed, when i arrived a shocking 109 lbs.. i fattened him up with three healthy meals a day and tempted him with gourmet dishes. in short, i fattened him up to his normal weight which was 155 lbs. i lived at my father's beautful log cabin chalet overlooking the puget sound on camano island for a year and a half and then he died. my three brother's were afraid i was going to cling to the house since my house in pearl river, new york was no longer an option. my wife was very serious.... after 34 years of marriage and four children she pushed me away... forever. but she would always "help me" so i was 'homeless' while i was driving around in washington i got a few tickets i couldn't pay for driving with an out of state license and one speeding ticket. 45 in a 35 mile an hour zone in concrete at 11:00 p.m., not a car in sight. oh well... so when i came to los angeles after a couple of years in the cascade mountains, i tried to get a california license but they wouldn't let me because of the washington tickets. that's why my car wasn't registered. you have to have a valid california license to register a car in l.a.... so my father's cadillac was the first casualty of this unlicensed business... now my jeep has been sentenced to thirty days at bruffy's impound. the ransom is $1,165. due next tuesday. so i have been scurrying around begging... borrowing but not to much avail. the good news is that a friend took me to the lumber yard and i have five large panels to paint on. two are finished which i am showing here... they were both finished yesterday. next a lovely still life and then an anti-war painting i have sketched an idea for.and this is the first self-portrait in oil i have painted since i was 17... lot's of drawings but no paintings. the good news is that a friend took me to the lumber yard and i have five large panels to paint on. two are finished which i am showing here... they were both finished yesterday. next a lovely still life and then an anti-war painting i have sketched an idea for. so i have been a busy bee... and that's why i haven't been journaling lately... but i have commented here and there and have been reading here and there. i see these links don't work... but if you want to see the paintings just go to my msn storage. or wait a few days and they'll be added to hungryeyegraphics.com

i'm taking time out from my constant preoccupation with battling spyware adware and programs which don't install from a paid for disk to complain about my experience.

first, i spend more time fixing my computer than i do using it.  if it were a car i would deem it a lemon. but my 1500 dollar hewlett packard with 111 gigabites is cramped already after only one year of use. i have a meagre 35 gigabites left on my harddrive.

it is so full of indexes and registry changes and memory from programs i've lost the ability to use like "maya" which even though it's useless to me since i don't have the disk to re-install after my tenth restore, still takes up the space on my harddrive.

i think this is primitive. and i think internet explorer gets paid off by the spies and malware to further their criminal activities.  taking over my browser homepage button.  fixing my desktop properties so i have no abilitiy to change my desktop picture... it's not even a tab anymore.

one company which wants to force me to use it's dinky search click-monster has an insulting message about some uglyness they claim is on my computer that the cops, the fbi, my wife and children should never see.... therefore i should click on their link and pay.

another thing is last night i went to windows update in desperation because i don't want to go through the tedium of reloading my programs yet again, and attempted to download any free spyware program... yes, i have spybot and adaware and norton security 2005 registered and norton systemworks 2004, paid for and not working even with a clean boot. naturally the one thing that doesn't work is anti-virus scanning.

it just so sucks.